Total 'Eclipse' of the heart.

So, I've just been to see Eclipse at the cinema and although I really liked the film I can see why it's had bad reviews. Basically, there is a very overdramatic love story with the constant emotional expression of feelings similar to a cathartic tragedy. I was watching it, solo, and thought about the first flushes of love. I know that my relationship isn't anything similar to those in the Twilight saga, or any teen film out but I know that I love my boyfriend. I constantly question however whether any relationships are even similar to that. Do people, when they have been together for a long time still feel the teenage passion of films such as Twilight etc. or do they just settle into a love that is less passionate, more comfortable and convenient? And if they do, then are films like the Twilight Saga making people expect more? I'm not so impressionable that I can't see past the love story but I know people that are. I know young girls that love the film because of the love story and I just think that it makes impressionable people look for Disney style happy endings that don't really exist.

Apart from all this and my general thoughts on the matter, the characters really are beautiful. Male and female. I like that this is one of the first films out that is so sexually gratifying for women. I enjoyed being a voyeur. I liked perving on the hot men. The use of camera technique and lighting all in all makes all of the characters look fantastic so it's a beautiful film to watch, for me anyway.

Middle class and miserable.

I work in a lovely little cafe bar in West Didsbury called Folk. It serves beautiful food, a good variety of drinks and amazing cakes. I went to work today, very happy because I was working with my two beautiful ladies, Gillian and Natalie. My mood turned sour very quickly because seriously, the some of the people in West Didsbury are so miserable! I'm a waitress, and I know that it's not the most high profile job but some customers look at me, judge me and decide that I am illiterate and stupid. I'm not. My days constantly involve being talked down to, talked rudely to and some people just generally acting in a passively aggressive way towards me. I work incredibly hard, and what really gets to me, is when people act like I don't work hard. So, for example, I'm serving a table when a middle-aged, menopausal woman constantly interrupts me from another table when I'm talking to other people. Even if I was stupid and illiterate, I'd know the rules of cafe etiquette and just general politeness. She really pissed me off.
This has just ended up in me not saying anything in particular, apart from telling whoever's reading this, that I'm treated like shit by middle class and miserable people on a daily basis. Thanks for reading.

P.S It's people like this; "Reviewer cocobean 17/12/2009
waited about half an hour for a cup of tea in here. staff are SOOO rude/too cool to speak. Also don't try so hard to be 'quirky'. How did they win cafe of the year again??" "; that really piss me off. Seriously, get over yourself. You're probably some sad lonely person that has absolutely nothing to do apart from criticise things that aren't right for you. Also, check your grammar. Starting a sentence without a full stop; how blasphemous! (And I know for a fact that this was the day after our Christmas party!)

Ok, rant over. I love my job, I just dislike some people!

Lucidity and tiredness.

I currently have insomnia. My dreams are always incredibly lucid and memorable so I'm starting to feel quite thankful for this. Recently I have been going out and getting drunk a fair amount and I find that when I wake up in the morning that I can't actually differ between dream and reality. The upside of being sober and awake is then, that I know that I can't go to sleep because I am annoyed at the selfishness of certain people. The downside is, well I'm very very tired.
Tiredness always causes me to think, very elaborately about my life, loves and relationships in general. I have come to a conclusion, an epiphany some might say, that you constantly need to put yourself first. As much as I like to think about other people and do nice things for them I always find myself disappointed because the expectations I have set are so high...
So, I guess in some way my lucid dreams represent my reality; vivid and easily understood. It just took me a long time to work it out..!

"I was a young woman, a foreigner, travelling alone in a country halfway around the world from my home. Home. It was a bittersweet word."

I find it rather magical when you find a phrase from a book that reflects your thoughts and life so entirely, albeit I'm not quite travelling around the world yet, and not alone but it's nice to have a multi-faceted character that you can relate to.

hypochondria.

I would like a doctor like this, please.




My life is fairly mundane, I work, sleep, eat, go out occasionally. I live a pretty healthy lifestyle apart from the excessive cigarettes but I am a constant hypochondriac. My brain imagines that every part of my body is falling into tiny pieces. I have found a swollen gland, I obviously have lymphoma. My stomach is constantly bloated, I must have ovarian cancer/ be pregnant/ some other very unlikely thing. The thing is, is my dad has had cancer very recently and now, rather than have developed an addiction to anything interesting as a coping mechanism, I appear to have become addicted to hypochondria. The worst thing is, I won't go to the doctors. EVER. Full stop.