1. Be prepared for people to stare at you- constantly. Prepare to feel like a celebrity, prepare for large groups of little children and middle class families to ask for pictures with you. Prepare for young teenage boys to try to take a picture with you whilst you're in a bikini.
2. Boys cannot handle hard mattresses.
3. Cows will approach you whereever you are. Keep an eye out for angry cows when you are relaxing on the beach. Three will be upon you before you know it.
4. Mosquitoes love eating.
5. Hebrew to English translated jokes just aren't funny.
6. Reptiles love beach huts. Frogs and lizards especially.
7. Generally, Indian people are quite small.
8. You will get hassled continuously by numerous people. If you say a ridiculously low price they will generally go away.
9. If you are invited into a yoga teachers bedroom do not go. If you go into the bedroom you will be forced to answer a questionnaire in silence about your philosophies of life. If you do happen to do this avoid the yoga teacher in question for the rest of your trip.
10. Avoid dogs.
11. If you are a meat eater expect to see your dinner wandering the streets, cows, pigs and chickens live an organic free life - eating anything they can find anywhere they can find it.
12. You will get fed up of Indian food after a week. This is a dire circumstance.
13. Taking public transport is like going on an Alton Towers rollercoaster without the safety apparatus.
14. I have always been able to roll cigarettes.
15. Indian cigarettes hurt your body like no others.
16. Indian beer makes your stomach go a little bit funny.
17. Power cuts are always going to happen when you're trying to do something important. Shaving your legs is difficult in the dark.
18. Indian people love fireworks. Far too much.
19. You are never too old for Pokemon or Mario. (There is now a pokemon called Finneon much to my amusement. My strongest Pokemon is level 37 and I have four gym badges)
20. When you feel a little bit sad there's nothing better than ringing your family and friends for a few brief words.
No comments:
Post a Comment